


The Properties of Mistletoe

by paulatheprokaryote



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Awkwardness, Community: HPFT, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Holidays, Meeting the Parents, Professors, University, albus refuses to have coauthors, magical phd, potioneer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 10:39:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9068092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paulatheprokaryote/pseuds/paulatheprokaryote
Summary: Albus Potter had never considered what the properties of mistletoe might be.
 
A tale of fake dating, overbearing mothers, and terrible egg nog.
 
For ImaRavenclaw's Very Christmassy Love Challenge on HPFT
Albus/OC





	1. Chapter 1

Albus paced his office floor, alternating between sighing loudly and cursing softly. He paused only for a moment to stare out the window, willing the owl he just sent to come back. He had been angry when he wrote that he would, in fact, be home for Christmas and moreover, his mother should set a place for his plus one. He adamantly ignored the crumpled up parchment in the mesh bin where his mother not-so-subtly implied that perhaps he and his cousin, Rose, had some sort of weird sharing relationship with her boyfriend Scorpius and that she would understand if he never gave her grandkids. It was mocking him, teasing him, goading him. It had tricked him into lying and what a terrible, tangled, humiliating lie it was. He unwittingly kicked the bin, hissing in aggravation rather than pain and cursing loudly.

Two soft knocks came at his door, followed by the disembodied head of the latest post-doc potioneer to join the staff, Ellie Winston. Most days her interruptions were more than welcomed. Ellie had a knack of causing everyone around her to gain some new understanding in the mere minutes that she graced them with her presence. Today, not even the Minister for Magic herself, coincidentally his aunt, would have received a warm welcome. 

“Dr. Potter?” She squeaked. He cringed at the name, not the annoyingly high pitched tone that didn’t typically come from her.

“Ellie.” He acknowledged her, but didn’t slow his pacing. He saw her bite her lip a moment. Knowing the argument she had with Thomas last week, a fellow master potioneer with a doctoral degree, he wasn’t sure if it was out of fear of his pacing or if she was trying not to tell him off for using her first name. The only people that call you doctor are your parents and your students. 

“Dr. Potter, I’ve had three different students come ask me if they’ve upset you. I believe you need to stop pacing.” She chided him in a way few people did. Being the departmental chair for one of the most prestigious potioneer programs in the greater part of the United Kingdom tended to have that effect. 

“Sorry, Ellie.” He muttered. He came to a standstill, but continued to fidget. She pointedly glared between him and his desk chair. After several moments and a raised eyebrow, he understood and sat down. 

“Are you still struggling with the Everlasting Elixir formula?” She slid into the guest chair that was more often than not filled with students complaining about a test score or teaching assistant. 

“No. Well, yes, but that’s not my primary issue at the moment.” He huffed. He briefly considered if faking his own death for the holidays would be too extreme of a reaction. He couldn’t decide in such a short span of time. 

“Oh?” She prompted with interest. If there was one thing Ellie was, it was a problem solver.

“I’m afraid I made a grave error.” His face fell into his hands and he groaned. 

“Nothing we can’t remedy, I’m sure.” She tried to comfort him. She glanced beyond him to his laboratory and didn’t see anything exceptionally out of the norm except a treacle tart wrapper from the bakery two blocks down. He might have ingested something he shouldn’t have? 

“I’ve implied to my mother that I’m in a relationship.” He grunted, an utter look of despair sweeping across his face. 

“Is that all? I believe you’re being a bit dramatic.” She rolled her eyes. 

“You don’t understand.” He moaned. 

“How could I?” 

“Even James has settled down with his daft fiancée. JAMES!” He added with emphasis to her blinking gaze. 

“Have you considered just picking up some girl at a pub or something? I mean you still have two days.” Ellie suggested helpfully. She thought that between his name and his salary, surely finding a temporary _friend_ wouldn’t be an issue.

Albus closed his eyes for a moment and briefly remembered the last time they had both camped out in his office. She had come up with the idea of using essence of werewolf combined with powdered vampire fangs to stop telomere shortening. Though the two consecutive days spent locked in his office brainstorming had been arguably the most difficult of his life, he suddenly missed the ease in which they had combined heads to solve that particular problem. Despite the fact that she wasn’t highly published, she would always swing by his office to brainstorm with him when he hit a wall. 

Suddenly his eyes shot open. “Ellie.” He spoke her name with such urgency that she nearly tipped her chair. 

“Yes?” She asked tentatively. 

“I have a genius idea.” He declared.

“Go on.” She probed cautiously.

“A proposition really.” He tilted his head as if outlining some formula.

“Get to the point, Potter.” She tried to say lightly. The reality was she was frightened by the fervent look in his eyes. His face was either filled with condescension or wonder. There was no in between. This look was an entirely different one. 

“How would you like to be a coauthor when I publish my Everlasting Elixir article?” He asked her with a nonchalant tone that didn’t match his offer.

Her eyes lit up for mere moments before shadowing into the darkest shade of hazel he’d ever seen. He searched her face, desperately trying to figure out what had caused the change. 

“You haven’t had anyone as a coauthor on any of your works since you were just a student yourself.” Her tone was clearly accusatory. 

“That’s true. You’ve provided enumerable insights to the potion though and I could really use your help. If you’ll just go along with me to my mother’s christmas party and stay through the new year, I’ll make you my coauthor.” 

Despite the fact that Ellie could really, really use the publication, she let out a gasp of disdain. 

“Dr. Potter, that sounds an awful lot like bribery. It can’t be though, because I’m sure that the department chair would never stoop to something so unethical.” She pushed herself out of the chair and hurried to her office. 

Albus blinked several times at her empty seat. He had been sure she’d be at least slightly receptive to the idea. He groaned aloud. If his parents saw his interpersonal skills at work maybe they wouldn’t wonder why he still hadn’t figured his life out yet. He sighed, feeling the guilt well up in his stomach. 

He stepped bleakly into the hallway, ignoring the glares he received from a pair of studying students who clearly resented any and all interruptions during final exam week. 

He knocked on the door twice, as Ellie had before, pushing the handle as he did so. “Dr. Winston.” She ignored him, busying herself with arranging vials of potion ingredients on her desk. “Ellie” His voice softened. She glared at him indignantly and continued arranging her vials. 

“Ellie, I’m sorry I asked. If you still want to, you can be coauthor all the same. You’ve definitely earned it.” He told her. He backed out of her office, closing the door as he did so. 

The students in the hallways glared at him again and he bit his tongue. He’d rather tell them to go up or down a floor if they wanted peace. It was foolish to camp out in front of faculty offices and expect them to never leave or speak.

Perhaps he could find a boggart and persuade it to be his date. The lovelier sex, after all, had always been formidable in his eyes. He just couldn’t grasp the nuances that seemed so important to them. To be fair, it became clear to him well before he stepped into the hallway why his...offer...didn’t entice her. It was a clear insult to her intelligence and her skill. 

He almost missed the sound of her throat clearing loudly, obnoxiously, trying to get his attention. He paused, glancing back, she twitched her head that was again floating in the hallway. He raised his eyebrows, unsure of what she was trying to tell him. She rolled her eyes again. She did that a lot today. He wondered vaguely if perhaps she did that while they were brainstorming and he just hadn’t noticed.

She did the twitch two more times and he understood. She was calling him back to her office. He hurried back, nearly tripping on his own feet, and she shut the door behind him. It was an insignificant thing, but the way she rested her hand on the door before turning around to face him made it seem less insignificant. 

“I have some conditions.” She told him. 

It took him several moments to understand what she meant, but realization caused his eyes to glow with excitement and relief. 

“How much do you know about the underground dragon trade?” She asked casually, causing him to gulp. 


	2. Chapter 2

Albus sighed in relief as he wrapped his fingers around the incredibly large teeth in his left hand. 

“How much do you know about the underground dragon trade?” She’d asked him as if she had asked him how he took his tea. Instead, he had to take six...SIX floo network connected fireplaces to locate his uncle Charlie in Romania. He should have just taken a portkey when it was all said and done. 

He huffed again, thanking the stars above for the juvenile Hungarian Horntail who had unintentionally knocked its teeth out mere weeks before. He was so thankful that he didn’t even ask why in the world Hagrid, a Hogwarts professor, would have had them. Or why he and Charlie still kept in touch.

He stepped into Ellie’s office, forgetting to knock, and placed them on her desk with a sigh of triumphant relief. He’d done it! His favorite emerald cloak was a little worse for wear, but his mother could probably repair the singed fraying threads when he went home. She was excellent at those kinds of spells. 

“Are you all packed?” He asked without bothering to hide the very pleased tone in his voice. He’d consented to her other request, as well, and the car keys trilled in his pocket as his hands brushed them with excitement. 

She turned from her lab bench that she was stooped over and folded her hands across her chest. She looked at him a moment with careful consideration. His cheeks grew warm as she stared him down well past her normal glare.

“Third condition: I drive.” She told him, holding her hand out expectantly. She insisted that magical travel turned her stomach upside down for days and that she prefered ‘natural travel’ to zipping through the folds of the universe. 

He was indignant and the satisfied smirk on her face informed him he must look as such. Despite the fact that he did have to confund a handful of employees at the shop where he rented the car because of the fact that apparently you had to have some kind of special license to manage the thing, he was certain he was more than capable. Afterall, he’d managed it back to the university without any real damage except for the bumper. One permanent sticking charm later and it was good as new. 

An alarmingly fast trip down the stairs, through the empty auditorium, and out to the faculty parking lot ended with Ellie sliding into the driver’s seat and clicking the seat buckle while Albus tried to mask his labored breathing by flaring his nostrils. 

“Presents?” She asked vaguely once the car was rumbling toward his parents’ house. 

“What?” He asked. He wasn’t too proud to admit he had been caught up in the lyrics to an old Celestina Warbeck song. Why would anyone equate stealing a person’s cauldron to stealing their heart? That’s certainly not going to endear you to them.

“Presents. Did you buy any presents?” She asked again, glancing over at him with her typical cunning eyes. She always looked like she was three steps ahead of everyone else.

“Uh, no. I forgot.” He mumbled. Honestly, it hadn’t even occurred to him. 

“I bought some gifts. I’ll add your name. It’ll probably make us seem more legitimate anyway. You’ve got _a lot_ of cousins, you know.” She commented in a daze. 

“Trust me, I know.”

Several minutes passed in silence, though not uncomfortable silence, when suddenly Albus exclaimed that Ellie must pull the car over. She did, expecting some kind of emergency, but he hopped out on the side of the road and dashed back several meters. She debated chasing after him, but before she could decide, he was running back with an armful of weeds. 

“Is that?” She trailed off. 

“Wild ghost orchid. I found the fungus too!” Albus indicated at the root of the plant.

“We have to propagate it!” She exclaimed, buckling herself back in and restarting the engine. 

“I doubt anyone has even done serious property studies before us.” He hummed. 

Ellie didn’t miss the ‘us’ of his statement and grinned at him. The energy in the car remained buzzing for the remainder of the drive, though few words were actually exchanged. 

When the car arrived, it became clear that Albus’s permanent sticking charm wasn’t nearly as permanent as he’d meant for it to be. Ellie noticed when she unlatched the boot and grabbed the presents and their respective bags. With a glare at Albus, an uncomfortable shrug from him, and a wave of her own wand, the problem was quickly solved all the same.

They barely reached the door before they were sucked in by a redheaded woman with blazing eyes and a tight grip. Ginny’s eyes flashed for a moment before she pulled her son into a hug. Ellie recognized the flash immediately. Suspicion. She squeezed Albus tightly, brushing the hair out of his eyes like a child before snatching at Ellie to squeeze the life out of her. 

“It is so good to finally meet you! I’ve heard so much about you!” Ellie cried out as her ribs considered making an awful popping sound in protest.

“And we’ve heard nothing about you!” Ginny’s lips were curled in a firm smile. 

Ellie smiled impishly, but rolled her eyes in Albus’s direction. “You know how Al can be. Always too private for his own good. I’m _always_ telling him that communication is the key to a successful relationship.” 

“Indeed it is.” Ginny nodded, glancing at _Al._ He’d thrown fits when he was younger at being called Al. 

Albus tilted his head at Ellie, an odd expression plastered on his face, before his lips quirked up in a rather uncharacteristic manner. A genuinely pleased smile. Ginny furrowed her brows. Her moody, brooding middle child rarely looked like that. 

“So tell me all about Al,” Ginny said, recapturing both of their attention. The emphasis on this new name was clear and it made Albus blush fiercely. “What’s he like at work?” She guided them to the loveseat, sitting opposite of them in an armchair. Ellie glanced only for a moment at the forgotten bags and presents before warming her face with an expansive smile.

Albus was sitting stiff, several inches from her. Far enough away to be strangers that just so happened to be waiting in the same room. Ellie eased closer to him, placing her hand casually above his knee which caused him to become even more rigid. 

“When he’s not pacing or terrorizing the undergrads, he’s remarkably pleasant.” Ellie teased. 

Ginny laughed, but didn’t miss Albus’s head tilting toward Ellie’s, searching her face for something. 

“I don’t terrorize them! They terrorize me! You know I got shushed the other day in my own office by the ones that insist on studying right outside!”

Ellie snorted. “The _audacity!”_ She exclaimed. 

“Too right.” Albus agreed, not realizing she was mocking him. 

By the time Ginny had served tea and levitated their bags upstairs to the guest room, Harry Potter himself emerged through the front door looking absolutely exhausted. 

“Hard day?” Albus quipped, startling his father as he yanked off his coat. 

“Albus!” He shrugged off his boots and hurried to his son, wrapping his arms around him fondly. Ellie clinked her teacup down and prepared for introductions.

“Ellie! So good to finally meet you!” He hugged her tightly, just as his wife had done, before snatching a biscuit. 

“It’s so nice to finally meet you too!” Ellie agreed. Harry and Albus caught up with one another, their loud voices echoing through the house. Ellie watched Ginny who smiled and breathed what appeared to be a sigh of relief or maybe content as they began discussing animatedly the latest models of racing brooms. 

“Your brother and what’s-her-face will be here any minute and he’ll sort it out!” Harry grunted when the conversation became a heated comparison of Nimbus series versus Firebolt series. 

James Potter, and his fiancee, often referred to as what’s-her-face, though she prefers to go by Cecily, did in fact arrive moments later and were immediately sucked into the lively debate. 

“Well, what do you think?” James Potter whirled around with a bony finger pointed at Ellie. 

Ellie bit her lip a moment before answering hesitantly. “I think you’re looking at it all wrong. You can’t classify one over the other because they emphasize different skill sets. If you need speed alone, the Firebolt series is notoriously the fastest. It’d be perfect for any chaser. If you need speed and very little altitude resistance, like a seeker, you’d be a fool to use anything other than a Nimbus. If you need the fastest reaction time, like a keeper, you’ve got to admit that Cleansweeps are the most intuitive.” 

“Cleansweeps.” James repeated with his mouth hanging agape.

“Yes.” 

“Bloody hell, I like her.” James patted Albus roughly on his back, nearly sending him to the floor. 

“You’ve got your own.” Albus mumbled. 

James glanced at Cecily who was busy picking at her cuticles and cringed a little. 

“What do you think sweetheart?” He asked in a tone that implied he didn’t really want to hear the answer. 

“Oh yeah. Everyone loves the Firesweeps.” 

James took a calming breath before flipping a smile back on his grimaced face and turning to his mother. “When’s dinner ready? I’m starved!” 


End file.
